"But, Kyle, I will end with this: I get it. I’m playing right into Swift’s scheme to be seen as that quirky, fun-loving everygirl. She’s goofy and silly! She loves laughing and love and light! She dances alone in her room and spends Friday nights doing her nails and listening to the Spice Girls! The stars, they’re just like us! But I’m perfectly okay throwing my enthusiasm behind “Shake It Off.” It impels you dance, and hell if I’m going to go against that directive. There are two types of people: people who get a shiny red balloon and want to poke a hole in it, and people who get a shiny red balloon and lose their minds because they’ve just been given a shiny red balloon that, sure, might look similar to other shiny red balloons from memories past, but is still a shiny red balloon in the here and now. And who doesn’t love a damn balloon?"